One Year Ago

Originally posted March 10, 2018 on FetLife

One year ago, i got the last laugh on Mother Nature. In one aspect, anyway.

One year ago today, on March 10, 2017, i had a hysterectomy. It was one of the BEST decisions i’ve ever made.

How, Y/you ask, was it the BEST decision of my life and how did i get the last laugh on Mother Nature? Because when i woke up that morning, the bitch decided to pay me her usual monthly visit. Intense back pain, ridiculously painful abdominal cramps, and what could pass off as a crime scene in my pants. Hell had arrived for the last time, and she’d brought her ugly step-sisters along for the visit.

The joke, however, was on her. Within a few hours of her appearance, the evil witch was permanently banished from my life. No more cramps. No more debilitating back pain. No more monthly psychosis. No more acne (well… less acne. Because, chocolate! lol) No more ruined panties. No more not wearing my favourite dress, pants or panties… just in case she showed up unexpectedly, or leaked through.

Freedom, thy name is no more periods.

i won’t lie. The recovery? It was a bitch, and a serious test of strength. Physical strength. Emotional strength. Mental strength.

It took until late-June 2017 before my gynecologist finally cleared me to resume life as usual. (yay for the return of sexy times and smacky bang bang times!)

i didn’t learn until my 6 week checkup what had been done during the surgery. i went under the knife expecting the removal of my uterus and cervix. The procedure was to be done with laparoscopic assistance.

There were no holes in my abdomen when i woke up. There was, however, a whole hell of a lot of pain in my perineum. Why? Episiotomies, as i learned, suck. Instead of a laparoscopic surgery, the entire thing (hysterectomy, pelvic organ lift and pelvic floor rebuild, as well as vaginal rejuvenation) were ALL done… Y/you guessed it… vaginally. That, my F/friends, hurts like a MOTHER FUCKER.

Healing from that kind of stuff takes a lot out of Y/you physically. Taking a shower was taxing enough (for the first little while) to require a nap that would take up half my day. Going down to the kitchen to fetch myself a snack? i was too tired to eat it by the time i’d gotten down to the kitchen and back.

The emotional upheaval as Y/your body figures itself out again takes a lot of patience. From Y/yourself. From T/those around Y/you. From… E/everyone.

The mental toll of not being able to do the things Y/you used to, even the most basic of stuff, is incredible. By the end of the first few weeks, i was going stir crazy. i wanted to go oooooooooutsiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!

Despite all of that? i would do it again. Having the hysterectomy, and everything that happened in the year following it? i would do it all again. Why?

Because it’s made me stronger. It gave me the time to do a lot (and i mean A LOT) of self-reflecting, a lot of self-analysis and allowed for a lot of personal growth.

i am not the same person i was in March of 2017. i am better. i am stronger. i am healthier.  Mentally, emotionally and physically.

So, yeah… Best. Decision. Ever.

Love, light and laughter.

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