Today i want to take some time to talk about obedience. i’ve dipped my toes back into the dating pool lately, and it’s something that has weighed a lot on my mind of late. With all the wannabe Doms out there, i think it merits discussion.
Y/you see, the thing with obedience is that it must be earned. More so when it comes to absolute obedience. That, my F/friends, is truly a gift. Now, before T/those grumbling in the back get upset… Yes, a submissive can be obedient from the start. i know that, for me, it’s something built into my DNA, into the marrow of who i am as a person and as a submissive. The same can probably be said for many of the subs out there. (i use the term “subs” loosely here to encompass all those on the right side of the slash.
Obedience is a thing that comes in varying degrees. It’s what comes naturally to most of U/us. (i say “most” because not everyone possesses this trait, and that’s a topic for another post at another time.) It’s simple, and second nature
Basic obedience doesn’t really need negotiation, in my opinion. It is what it is and grows as trust is built and until actions prove that further obedience can be given. It is absolutely NOT something that can be demanded, nor should be it expected beyond the basic concept of the word
In my travels through the land of kink i’ve come across many “Dominants” who expect and demand absolute obedience from moment one. As far as i’m concerned? That’s a red flag. (Run, Forest! Run!) Absolute obedience must be earned, and freely given. Full stop.
But what is absolute obedience, bitey? Well… i can tell Y/you what it is for me
When the Dominant i’m in a relationship with has proven to me that He has mastery of Himself, understands who i am and what makes me tick, acknowledges and respects the limits W/we set personally and within O/our D/s dynamic, demonstrates that i can trust Him with not only my physical safety, but my mental and emotional wellbeing… then W/we’re well on the way to my absolute obedience. When W/we’ve achieved that? The sky is the limit. There isn’t much i would say no to were He to request or demand it of me. And that, my F/friends, is a gift more precious than anything. Not only has He given me everything, but i am giving Him the same in return
It’s a process, and not one that happens overnight. Like all good things, it’s worth the wait and the work taken to get there. In the immortal words of Yoda… Patience, young Padawan.
Until next time,
Keep it kinky!