Part One – November 2017
“An experience that can’t be quantified and can be felt from the inside out.”
That sounds perfect; like the life i want for myself and for those who share in it with me.
i have a huge capacity to love, and my biggest desire is to be loved in return. i’ve come to truly understand that love and relationships don’t have to be a monogamous thing for me. i *can* love more than one person, and be loved by more than one in return. i can love each person differently, and be loved by them in whichever way, shape or form that takes.
This isn’t a completely new revelation. Not entirely, anyway. i’ve always understood the way poly works. i just didn’t see it applying to myself, and what i wanted out of life, love, relationships, etc. Recent changes and experiences have shown me that being poly is something i can embrace, and i’m going to do so wholeheartedly.
The evolution is just starting, but i have a feeling the trip to wherever i end up is going to be amazeballs as fuck.
Part Two – November 2017
For a long time i refused to think that i could be poly. i wanted monogamy. i insisted on it. But… i’ve learned that i love hard, and that i have so much to give that trying to put it all on one person isn’t fair to them. It’s a lot to handle for a single individual, and asking just ONE person to handle all of that was a bit selfish on my part.
i’ve also come to understand that i need a lot from the people i’m involved with romantically. i need a lot of attention. i need a lot of love. i need a lot of… everything, sex included. i need more people. i want more people.
Marie-Antoinette is famously quoted as saying “Let them have cake!” i know, it’s not in the same frame of reference, but i’m going to damn well have my cake and eat every delicious morsel of it, too.
Part Three – November 2017
There’s a saying that goes… “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.”
i very much agree with the sentiment. Just because part(s) of something isn’t/aren’t working, doesn’t mean you have to scrap or toss out the WHOLE thing. i think this applies to many things in life – relationships included.
Why toss aside something that is mostly pretty damn awesome just because one part of it doesn’t work so well? Re-evaluate, talk about the alternatives, and move forward. We’re all adults here. Why is this not more of a thing? So many just throw their hands in the air, say “Nope” and walk away on what could otherwise be amazing if it was reworked into a different shape.
Can you still enjoy X-Y-Z with that person even though W doesn’t work for the two (or more) of you? Yes? Awesome. Cut out the W and move on. Why can’t you have your X-Y-Z without all of the whatever that W brings along with it? You can. So, do it.
i’ve been doing a lot of re-evaluating and re-shaping of things in my own life lately. And do you know what? There have been some W’s cut out. There have been some X-Y-Z’s remolded into A-Q-Y and the change has been something far better for those involved in the modification. Why? Because the things that didn’t work aren’t an issue anymore, and that lets U/us all enjoy the super-fantastic-amazing things that do work.
And that, my friends, is a good thing.
Part Four – December 2017
**Sometimes, when you see the person you love for who they truly are, it makes loving and being with them that much easier.**
He’s not “that guy”. You know the type i’m referring to… The One Twue Love. The Wesley to your Buttercup.
He’s not the boyfriend, or the husband type.
He won’t commit, settle down or be the “One and only”. Not for you. Not for me. Not for anyone.
Don’t fall under that delusion. Because that’s all it is…
He IS the guy who will not be tied down, or committed to ONE person, and ONE person only.
He IS the guy with a huge heart and an immense capacity to love.
He IS the sweetest, most charismatic guy you’ll ever meet.
He IS funny, smart and an amazing lover.
But don’t fool yourself. He isn’t yours, or mine. He isn’t anyone’s. And that’s how He wants it. Try to tie Him down. It will be the biggest mistake of your life.
Enjoy Him. Love Him. But do it with your eyes open, and a clear understanding that you will never be His one and only.
Part Five – December 2017
*A beautiful life does not just happen … It is built daily with humility, kindness, sacrifice, forgiveness & unconditional love.*
W/we, as human beings, are born flawed. W/we are born to make mistakes. It’s how W/we learn. How W/we evolve. How W/we grow.
W/we are ALL flawed creatures, perfectly imperfect, from birth to death.
Shit, as the saying goes, happens. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes… it really, really sucks. The lesson will either be an easy one, or it will be one that rips Y/you down to the very foundation.
The key here, is to recognize the mistake and learn, evolve, grow from it so that W/we don’t repeat it again. Sometimes (depending on the mistake) it will be an easy transition and/or lesson learned. Other times, it’s going to hurt like a bitch and take some doing to make the necessary changes within oneself to stop that shit from ever happening again.
Apologies, while great, are but a starting point.
O/one has to show they are truly remorseful regarding the offense, put in the work and sacrifices to make the necessary changes and amends. The road can be short, or it can be long. It’s all up to Y/you – mostly (because the other person(s) must be willing to give Y/you the chance to show that Y/you can be better, that Y/you can change and not repeat the same mistake again).
O/one has to be humble and willing to accept T/their fault(s). W/were are imperfect beings, all of U/us. None are better or more deserving than the others (in my opinion).
Daily kindness to others, and to Y/yourself is something W/we should all practice. The saying about “reaping what Y/you sow”? True. What you put out into the universe comes back to Y/you. i believe with every fibre of my being.
Love unconditionally. Love others for who T/they are – flaws and all. Love T/them for all of T/their pieces; that’s what makes T/them who they are after all. Tell T/Them every day that Y/you love them. Not just with words. Show them with actions – a smile, a touch, a quick text or brief email. Anything.
Live everyday. Fill it with love, light and laughter.